Yes ,and it always made me feel horrible inside . I constantly battled with my own conscience telling me love of family should come first ,and Watchtower counsel saying if we really loved our Df'd loved one we should shun them .
I missed my brothers wedding because the 1980's (86-89) KM had just come out with the strong wording about shunning a family member that no longer lives in the home . I went back and forth speaking at least a little to him whenever we crossed paths ,but never intentionally planning association .We missed watching each others kids growing up . We had some contact over those years ,but not enough to build a strong familiar bond that families should have .
He was DA'd in the 1970's ......over the yrs it dawned on me the disfellowshipping policy made no sense in his case . It was meant to keep the congregation clean and to make the person feel sorry for the lost association so they would want to return . After 30 yrs the fact was my brother was a good kind person that just didn't want to be a JW so the reasoning behind the DF policy fell flat .
In 2000 my oldest son was graduating High School and i wanted my brothers family there . I called and invited them to the ceremony and to a small family gathering at my home afterwards . I was so excited and they were too . They even suggested they would come out early and be at the house to host until we got home from the ceremony . The night before the event my other brother (a recent baptized JW after yrs of being out ) called and said I had to uninvite my DA'd brother or else all the JW family and friends would have to be notified of his presence and would most likely not attend . He berated me and made me feel horrible .....he used the Watchtower magazine advice against me . I called my older brother in tears and explained the situation ,he calmly said don't worry about it ...I won't come .He was more worried that this would distract attention away from my son and it was better to just not attend .....
This event was the first major wake up call for me that I was brainwashed ......afterwards I knew I had made a huge mistake . With in a couple of months after this I made a final decision that never again would i allow anyone to tell me shun anyone again . I went to my older brother and apologized profusely over what I had done to him . I promised never to allow this to happen again . He forgave me and has given me another chance . We now are involved in each others lives along with each others children . My other brother attend a few 'all' family included gatherings ,but now that i quit attending meetings he has cut off all communication . So I gained one brother and lost the other .
I am sure your family feels the utter dispair shunning you causes their hearts to go through . Hopefully they will be smarted than I and not wait to long to wake up to the sheer nonsense of cutting off a loved one .